02. Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hank
03. Break Your Heart
04. Jane
05. When I Fall
06. Hello City
07. What A Good Boy
08. The Old Apartment
09. Life, In a Nutshell
10. These Apples
11. If I Had $1,000,000
12. Uncle Elwyn (hidden track)
drove downtown in the rain
nine-thirty on a tuesday night
just to check out the late-night record shop
call it impulsive call it compulsive call it insane
when i'm surrounded i just can't stop
it's a matter of instinct it's a matter of conditioning
it's a matter of fact
you can call me pavlok's dog
ring a bell and i'll salivate--how'd you like that
dr landy tell me you're not just a pedagogue
'cause right now i'm
lying in bed just like brian wilson did
well i'm lying in bed just like brian wilson did
so i'm lying here
just staring at the ceiling tiles
and i'm thinking about what to think about
just listening and relistening to smiley smile
and i'm wondering if this is some kind of creative drought
because i'm
chorus
and if you want to find me i'll be
out in the sandbox
wondering where all the hell all the
love has gone
playing my guitar and building castles in the sun
and singing "fun fun fun"
chorus
i had a dream
that i was three hundred pounds
and though i was very heavy
i floated til i couldn't see the ground
i floated til i couldn't see the ground
somebody help me, i couldn't see the ground
somebody help me, i couldn't see the ground
somebody help me because i'm
chorus
drove downtown in the rain
nine-thirty on a tuesday night
just to check out the late-night record shop
call it impulsive call it compulsive call it insane
when i'm surrounded i just can't stop
(top)
I tend the wheat field that makes your bread
I bind the sweet veal, pluck the hens that make your bed
Mother Nature & Mother Earth
Are two of three women who dictate what I'm worth
I'm the farmer
I work in the fields all day
Don't mean to alarm her
But I know it was meant to be this way
You cried a tear, I wiped it dry
I put you up upon a pesestal so high
If you shoule waver, if you should sway
I'd catch you, spread my tiny wings and fly away
You signed your picture with and O and X
I bet you don't write "love" each time you sign your cheques
I am the farmer
I work in the fields all day
Don't mean to alarm her
But I know it was meant to be this way
All of this corn I grow I grow it all for you
I took a hatchet to the radio I did it all for you
You could have written back
You could have said "thank you"
I guess you've got better things,
Better things to do
You say you love me, is that the truth?
Although they've heard the songs, my friends want living proof
I know your address, I ring the bell
I bring you flowers and a .22 with shells
I'm the farmer
I work in the fields all day
Never wanted to harm her
But I know it was meant to be this way
(top)
The bravest thing I've ever done
Was to run away and hide
But not this time, not this time
And the weakest thing I've ever done
Was to stay right by your side
Just like this time, and every time
I couldn't tell you I was happy you were gone
So I lied and said that I missed you when we were apart
I couldn't tell you, so I had to lead you on
But I didn't mean to break your heart
And If I always seem distracted
Like my mind is somewhere else
That's because it's true, yes it's true
It's this stupid pride that makes me feel
Like I have to follow through
Even half-assedly, loving you
Why must I always speak in terms of cowardice?
When I guess I should have just come out and told
you right from the start
Why must I always tell you all I want is this?
I guesss 'cause I didn't want to break your heart
And you said:
"What'd you think that I was gonna do,
Curl up and die just because of you?
I'm not that weak you know
What'd you think that I was gonna do,
Try to make you love me as much as I love you?
How could you be so low?
You arrogant man,
What do you think I am?
My heart will be fine
Just stop wasting my time"
And now I know that you will be okay,
And I got what I want and that's rid of you
Good-bye
And it's not 'cause I'll be missing you
That makes me fall apart
It's just that I didn't mean to break
No I didn't mean to break
Your heart
(top)
The girl works at the store, sweet Jane St. Clair
Was dazzled by her smile while I shopped there
It wasn't long before I lived with her
I sang her songs while she dyed my hair
Jane, divided, but I can't decide which side I'm on
Jane decided only cowards stay, while traitors run
Jane, Jane
I'd bring her gold and frankincense and myrrh
She thought that I was making fun of her
She made me feel I was fourteen again
That's why she thinks it's cooler if we'd just stay friends
Jane doesn't think a man could ever be faithful
Jane isn't giving me a chance to be shameful
Jane, Jane
I wrote a letter, she should have got it yesterday
That life could be better by being together
Is what I cannot explain to Jane
The girl works at the store, sweet Jane St. Clair
Still dazzled by her smile while I shoplift there
No promises as vague as Heaven
No Juliana next to my Evan
Jane, desired by the people at her school and work
Jane is tired 'cause every man becomes a lovesick jerk
Jane, Jane
(top)
I look straight in the window, try not to look below
Pretend I'm not up here, try counting sheep
But the sheep seem to shower off this office tower
Nine-point-eight straight down I can't stop my knees
I wish I could fly
From this building
From this wall
And if I should try
Would you catch me If I fall?
My hands clench the squeegee, my secular rosary
Hang on to your wallet, hang on to your rings
Can't look below me, or something might throw me
Curse at the windstorms that October brings
I look in the boardroom; a modern pharaoh's tomb
I'd gladly swap places, if they care to dive
They're lined up at the window, peer down into limbo
They're frightened of jumping, in case they survive
I wish I could step from this scaffold
Onto soft green pastures, shopping malls, or bed
With my family and my pastor and my grandfather who's
Dead
chorus
Lookk straight in the mirror, watch it come clearer
I look like a painter, behind all the grease
But painting's creating, and I'm just erasing
A crystal-clear canvas is my masterpiece
chorus
(top)
hello city....
another night at the palace
'cause there is nothing else to do.
the same people, the same drinks and
the same music
the same quicksand.
i think this harbor town is waist deep and sinking fast.
hello city, you've found
an enemy in me.
hello city, hello city.
second night at the warehouse,
and my mock turtleneck just reeks.
from the liquor room to the changeroom
to the doom and gloom
of the hotel room,
i wish this seaside beerhall would sink into the bay.
chorus
maybe i caught you at a bad time,
maybe i should call you back next week,
maybe half the fault was mine that the sun didn't shine
on barrington street.
it's three o'clock in the morning,
and i'm hungry so let's eat.
climb down three flights to the streetlights
and the barfights, we're just taking in the sights.
i hope tomorrow that i wake up in my own bed.
chorus
"what a good place to be,
don't believe them,
'cause they speak a different language
and it's never been happy for me.
it's happy hour again."
hello city, hello city.
(top)
when i was born they looked at me and said
what a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy
and when you were born they looked at you and said
what a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl
we've got these chains that hang around our necks
people want to strangle us with them before we take our
first breath
afraid of change, afraid of staying the same
when temptation calls we just look away
this name is the hairshirt i wear
and this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair
this song is the cross that i bear
bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me
be with me tonight
i know that it isn't right
but be with me tonight
i go to school, i write exams
if i pass, if i fail, if i drop out, does anyone give a damn?
and if they do, they'll soon forget
'cause it won't take much for me to show that my life ain't over
yet
i wake up scared, i wake up strange
i wake up wondering if anything in my life
is ever going to change
i wake up scared, i wake up strange
and everything around me stays the same
chorus
i couldn't tell you that i was wrong
chickened out, grabbed a pen and paper, sat down and i wrote this song
i couldn't tell you that you were right
so instead i looked in the mirror watched tv laid awake all night
chorus
repeat first verse
(top)
Broke into the old apartment
This is where we used to live
Broken glass, broke and hungry
Broken hearts and broken bones
This is where we used to live
Why did you paint the walls?
Why did you clean the floor?
Why did you plaster over the hole I punched in the door?
Whis is where we used to live
Why did you keep the mousetrap?
Why did you keep the dishrack?
These things used to be mine
I guess they are, I want them back
Broke into the old apartment
Forty-two stairs from the street
Crooked landing, crooked landlord
Narrow laneway filled with crooks
This is where we used to live
Why did they pave the lawn?
Why did they change the locks?
Why did I have to break it, I only came here to talk
This is where we used to live
How is the neighbor downstairs?
How is her temper this year?
I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun
I know we don't live here anymore
We bought an old house on the Danforth
She loves me and her body keeps me warm
I'm happy there
But this is where we used to live
Broke into the old apartment
Tore the phone out of the wall
Only memories, fading memories
blending into dull tableaux
I want them back
(top)
When she was three her Barbies always did it on the first date
Now she's with me, there's never any need for them to demonstrate
She's like a baby, I'm like a cat;
When we are happy, we both get fat and still
It's never enough, it's never enough, it's never enough
But I don't tend to worry 'bout the things that other people say
And I'm learning that I wouldn't want it any other way
Call me crazy but it really doesn't matter
All that matters to me is she
Her life in a nutshell
No way would she want it to change me
It's not that easy 'cause my time is often decided for me
For me
She memorized every pencil crayon color in the box
Her blue-green eyes complement the burnt sienna in her locks
She's at the movies, I'm on the phone;
When we're separated we're never alone, but still
It's never enough, it's never enough, no it's never enough
chorus 1 and 2
I fell down with no one there to catch me from falling
Then she came 'round
And only her tenderness stopped me from bawling my eyes out
I'm OK, and that's why...
chorus 2
(top)
A friend brought me flowers, she said they were lilacs,
But I've never been good with plants
Her next presentation, a new dictionary
She circled the word "romance"
So enthusiastic, a little bit drastic,
I shaved her name in my head
As she beheld it, she said I misspelled it;
Need more be said?
These apples are delicious!
"As a matter of fact they are," she said
Can all this fruit be free?
She wrote me a letter as big as a phone book
I've never been big on mail
I sent her a postcard from somewhere near Lethbridge,
And wondered if it still went by rail
I've never been frightened of being enlightened
But some things can go too far
Though sometimes I stammer and mix up my grammar,
You get what my meanings are
(chorus)
I'm not trying to sing a love song -- I'm trying to sing in tune
I know I am sometimes headstrong
Falling in love, catching fire -- I want to be consumed
Wondering will I ever tire, will I ever tire?
(top)
If I had $1000000 (If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
If I had $1000000 (If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you furniture for your house (Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
If I had $1000000 (If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a K-Car (a nice Reliant automobile)
If I had $1000000 I'd buy your love.
If I had $1000000
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had $1000000
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had $1000000
Maybe we could put a refrigerator in there
Wouldn't that be fabulous.
If I had $1000000 (If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that's cruel)
If I had $1000000 (If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you an exotic pet (Like a llama or an emu)
If I had $1000000 (If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (All them crazy elephant bones)
If I had $1000000 I'd buy your love.
If I had $1000000
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had $1000000
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had $1000000
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner.
But we would. Yeah we'd just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups
Dijon ketchups... mmmm hmmm
If I had $1000000 (If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel)
If I had $1000000 (If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you some art (a Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had $1000000 (If I had $1000000)
I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I had $1000000 I'd buy your love.
If I had $1000000, If I had $1000000,
If I had $1000000, If I had $1000000
I'd be rich.
(top)
Ed's Uncle Elwyn!
Ed's Uncle Elwyn!
My Uncle Elwyn is tall
My Elwyn is small
My Elwyn plays a mean basketball
He's about 45, maybe 55, 60
I'm not sure. Once, he mixed me a drink
I was about five years old
It was Kool-aid and pop,
I thought that was cold
Cold meaning good
Cold's supposed to be bad
But I think that I oughta would change some things,
And change their meanings
I've been here, I've been demeaning
Once, twice, maybe three times
I asked my Uncle Elwyn
He's a mime! He said:
Ed's Uncle Elwyn (Oo)
Ed's Uncle Elwyn (Oh)
That's E-L-W-Y-N
That's Elwyn, sing it again
E-L-W-Y-N
That's Elwyn, sing it again
E-L-W-Y-N
That's Elwyn, sing it again
E-L-W-Y-N
That's Elwyn!
That's my uncle.
(top)